“Even a scholar in psychology couldn't determine how one can love a person to death, yet want to kill them at the same time."
In the roller coaster ride of life, we come across a lot of people. Some impact our brains with their charisma, some touch our hearts with their goodness and then there are ones who get on our nerves - just by breathing - and yet, we fail to understand why we love them so much that they waltz in our brains, and set up a camp in our hearts, rent-free. Yes, it’s the brother-sister bond we’re talking about.
Have you all ever wonder what is so special about the overprotective monkey, who is apparently your mom’s apple of the eye? Or why your father always is doting on the little girl you guys supposedly picked out from the trash? You think about it, and grimace about the fact that just because your parents decided to have another child, you will have to bear with the consequences a long time - the relationship between the siblings is probably the longest relationship you share with someone in your whole life.
However, deep down inside, we all know that there indeed, is something special about the brother-sister equation, that we created an entire festival around this beautiful and unique bond. The length of the bond is not something to worry about - it’s something to cherish. A symbolic representation to state that how a brother will go to any lengths to protect his sister and how diligently the sisters pray for the brother’s well being and long life. And the brother sets the world upside down, looking for wonderful Rakhi gifts for sister.
Remember, how people would always say that your brother or sister are your best friends? Friends are something we choose for ourselves - you must be pretty sure that you did not choose the irritating guy in the next room, wearing the same socks he wore three days ago and shouting for a glass of water.
Nevertheless, he is doing it because he knows that his sister will get up, curse him and still get him what he wants. Been there, done that, right? Well, the reason, why they do that all the time is known as the “attachment theory”.
Humans, all of us, have a tendency to feel closer to the person who makes us feel secure, thus feeling content - just by having the other in sight. The theory also goes the other way round - the elder sibling also starts to develop an inertia towards the younger one. As we grow up, the actions come more out of our subconscious part of the brain, stating that the affection has penetrated itself to the core of our hearts.
This is the reason that brothers and sisters have their own little room in each other’s heart. Obviously, we let them move in because of a little favour they did to us - or because the smaller one was looking really cute while sleeping. By the time we know what is happening, it is too late, or you are too involved.
Another factor which makes this relationship stronger than all the others, is that humans are resistant to change. As we all know, this one is not changing forever! One carries the images of other in their heart forever and ever. Mind you, these hearts come with an expandable storage. Hence, they have all the information to make you feel anything they want to - name it, they have it. Such is the relationship - that they can shower you with love, make you cry, tickle your laughter bone, or even blackmail you from 0 to 100, in about 5 seconds - faster than a Ferrari.
Well, like every relationship that we form in our lives, this one also evolves into one of its kind - having its ups and downs, fights and favours, and a lot of emotions and drama, throughout the different stages of life.
The very first, and the most pious phase in every brother-sister relationship is the one when you get introduced to each other. Although neither of you remembers this phase, the seeds of affection and protectiveness are sown deep inside your hearts here. The bigger one becomes the role model and the latter becomes a toy.
Then, you start growing older and like every other relationship, the honeymoon phase is over. There is time for a reality check - the sister is no longer cute, and brother is no longer the superhero. The only role your parents play in your life is that of a referee, as your living room becomes a splitting image of a WWE ring. We all are way too familiar with the phase of the relationship, where we fought like animals.
Then comes the KitKat break of your relationship, where your interests are as distinct as two magnetic poles. Some of the age-old battles are here revived - Pink vs Blue, Unicorn vs Harry Potter, and ESPN vs Disney.
After this, arises the million dollar question - that how does this weird relationship come across as one of the most important and special ones in our lives? You hate the person to your guts, yet you find yourselves scampering for the most unique rakhi possible. Well, the most logical answer to this is the empathy factor that brings us closer together, and knits us into an unbreakable bond.
Being born and brought up in the same household, perhaps going to the same school, and a lot of other reasons. The times you stood up for each other, the favours which were uncalled for. First salary gifts, driving around with each other, teaching your sister how to drive and then going behind her back, and then whilst just having a good time together, what you both got was a bond that would last a lifetime.
But then, life happens, and you split apart into your own different world. As you are building up your own world, the only thing that still remains intact in your bond is “I got your back”. You may come across other people who love you more, who will be become dearer to you, but the thing that remains intact is how you both motivate each other for even the tiniest of things. Your brother becomes a superhero for you.
The inertia of this relationship that holds it together, no matter what is what brought them together in the first place. Some of our timeless memories are associated with our siblings - fighting with each other about who is mother’s favourite child, complaining about each other and asking for justice. Or it may be fighting about how your brother gets permission to stay out and about, past the curfew and the number of times the brother had to apologise just because daddy dearest always supports his daughter.
Then, there were the times it was both of you trying to fight the generation gap situation in your homes. Planning mother’s day surprises for your mom and what not. It’s always been you two, complimenting each other exactly where the other one lags. But when it comes to finding rakhi gifts for brother, or for sister - you're both up there with the best.
Memories are a very powerful tool. When it comes to emotions, we all know that siblings occupy the most data in the hard disk of each other’s heart - a single drop of them and we are ready to dive in the ocean, to reminisce each and every moment that we can.
The pranks we played on each other, the weird pictures that are stored in our phones and will come out at exactly the right moment, the way you tried to outwit each other during your childhood, and whose side was mom on, and the yay me! moments when your brother or sister got a nice scolding because of you. Weirdly natural transitions of fighting to be your mom’s favourite child, to planning a Mother’s Day surprise. The evolution of this relationship is one hell of a journey, and actually has a contribution to make you what you are today. Apart from sharing similar chromosomes, you guys have shared a lot, more you will ever share with anyone else.
Psychologically, we all yearn for someone, who will understand our silence and take a stand for us no matter what. Having a feeling that there is someone like that in your life, induces hormones of well being. This is why even though we hate our brother or sister for the stupidest thing they did five minutes ago, we tend to start missing them as soon as they are gone.
This one goes out to the strongest and the longest bond that will be cherished forever, the only relationship whose recipe’s main ingredient is fighting! Cherish this truly one-of-a-kind bond with one-of-a-kind rakhi gifts.